Our Baby Size Life!

Posts Tagged ‘hospital’

I know this post is long over due, but I figured I’d tell you about our Thanksgiving anyways, because we ended up in the hospital again!  Man, when it rains it pours!  I hadn’t been in a hospital in years, almost decades, and now it happens three times in a two month period!  So, with the American Thanksgiving right around the corner, I figured I’d sneak this post in now, while it’s got some relevance. My bro has some nice pics from that great Thanksgiving day, but I don’t have them with me now. It’s a bummer, but I’ll try and post ‘em later on.  We had some great family fun as my sis and her family made the drive up from Toronto.  My bro was there with his daughter and his new girlfriend and , of course, my parents were there… well we were all in their house.  So, yeah, it makes sense they be there…

Saturday was a busy day, we all had some fun on my Wii (Rock Band and Boom Blox), we played some street hockey in which my nephews once again felt the unforgiving wrath of their Uncle John as he totally and systematically destroyed their defense and piled on the goals without mercy.  I won (again) 53 to 38, and they were two on one! Yeah, I know I’m good, but what can I say… I’m a natural…  What? How old? Why they are 13 and 11… but that doesn’t mean anything! Have you seen kids nowadays?!?  They’re HUGE. My oldest nephew wears bigger sized shoes than I do! And you know what they say about a man with big feet… They wear BIG shoes! Let’s keep it clean folks!

So everything was going typically well, it was around 11 pm when things went south. My sis and brother-in-law were packing up the minivan to head back early the next day while everyone else was playing some cards and winding down after another great meal. Kudos to Mom and Dad who outdid themselves again! Check out some of the yummy food they laid out:

Mmmm... Look at that turkey. It was as good as it looks!	My plate...or I should say, one of my plates!
Apple, Cherry and Pumpkin pies!	Rollie-Pollies, a decadent recipe made of pie crust and brown sugar!

Colby, their dog, was out with my bro-in-law while he packed the car, when suddenly Colby bolts out towards the street after a couple strangers that were out taking a walk.  My bro-in-law reacted and spun to chase after the dog… but didn’t see the traveling bag he had placed on the ground.  He ended up landing hard on his left shoulder.  We walks into the kitchen, clutching his arm saying he can’t feel his fingers and arm, but his shoulder is in intense pain.

Luckily, my bro’s new girlfriend used to be a nurse and checked him out.  She thought we should get to a hospital to make sure everything was OK as she thought that his arm or shoulder could be broken!  So off we go, my Dad, my bro-in-law and me to the local hospital on Thanksgiving night, it being close to midnight.  We arrived at the hospital around 15 past midnight, and after a series of quick examinations followed by a couple hours waiting time, they recommended he get X-rays.  So we had to wait for the X-ray technician.  It was now 3 am. He got his X-rays and hobbled back to his waiting room for the doctor to give his diagnosis on the X-rays taken.  That took another 2 hours.  It was now 5 am.

Finally, the doctor came back and explained the situation to my bro-in-law:  his shoulder was broken… in two places!  No wonder he was in pain!  The doctor then advised him to go home and relax until they got into contact with a surgeon to evaluate how to proceed.  The problem was my bro-in-law had one clean fracture and another fracture that had detached a tendon.  They weren’t sure if the fracture would mend and the tendon would fuse back to the bone properly and needed the surgeons opinion.  My bro-in-law explained that he was leaving for Toronto in one hour and would have to pursue the matter when he got home.

And that’s what he did.  We drove home from the hospital and got back to my parents house around 6:30 am on the Sunday.  What an exhausting night.  My Dad and I were completely pooped out.  My bro-in-law, with his arm in a sling, climbed into his packed car with my sis and their two kids, and they left for Toronto.

Mind you, all this happened about a month ago now, so I can update you on his situation.  He was re-evaluated that Sunday afternoon in a Toronto area hospital and they ruled against surgery.  He was, and still is, under observation on a weekly basis.  Both fractures, and the tendon, seem to be healing OK, which is welcome news.  One thing I haven’t told you about my bro-in-law is that his job requires him to be on the road a large amount of the time.  And , yes folks, the day after they got home from the Thanksgiving trip, my crazy, yet dedicated, bro-in-law went on a road trip for his job!  He didn’t drive of course, but still, the guys got guts right?  Snaps his shoulder in two places and he’s out cutting deals with clients less than 48 hours later!

What a guy!  Hats off to you Mr. Bro-in-Law!  And that was our Thanksgiving 2008!

Thanks for reading.

A little note today on my series of posts entitled “Sam’s Big Gift” (check out all of Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4).  It’s been a full four weeks since that adventurous day, and Melissa and I have thankfully not suffered any relapses.  We have also, to my great sadness , haven’t had any stripper nurses come around either .  So, life goes on.  Day by day we live our little routine, and as each day passes our fears of a repeat incident are subsided.  As each meal stayed the course and refused to ascend our digestive systems, we grew more and more confident in our recovery.

We are feeling fine and doing great, but my wallet isn’t.  Yesterday in the mail, we got our ambulance transportation fee.  It was for $216.00.  :shock:  For a 10 minute ride?!!?  They didn’t even put on the freaking siren!!! Hello! Remember us?!? The Jack and Jill medics? We’ll here’s our little way of saying “Thanks for riding along!!”.  So that clears one thing up folks: they didn’t do any prostate exams while I was in the hospital anymore, because it is now clear to me that they wait a few weeks, and stick it to you at home through the mail. Is it the gas? How much does it cost to gas up an ambulance?  Are they running on freaking caviar and Cristal?  Jack and Jill we’re a little hefty… Am I paying their lunch bill as well?  So 62 tacos is an ideal lunch for a portly pair of paramedics? Did I pass out and miss the buffet stop during the ride?!?

Mind you, the fee is a combined amount for both Melissa and I, but for a hundred bucks they could have at least managed to let me lie down in the damn ambulance.  If you remember the situation, I was fighting back a puke attack due to me bouncing up and down on the ambulance’s trampoline/chair!  My vital fluids are everywhere but where they should be, and they give me a seat in the Cirque du Soleil!  I guess it’s that attention to detail that drove the price up folks.

I’m just ranting here folks, but I feel better now!  I might rant off again in a few days, because if the ambulance wasn’t free, then the hospital stay sure as heck won’t be!  Stripper nurses don’t come cheap you know! Right guys?!? Huh?!?! Guys?!?! Right?!?! Hmm… yeah…

Sam’s Big Gift is turning out to be one of those gifts that keeps on giving!

Today’s post is the finale of my “Sam’s Big Gift” mini series of posts detailing, in hopefully humorous fashion, our adventures of last week’s trip to the hospital.  To get yourself acquainted with the rest of the series, why not read up on Part 1, Part 2 and (while you’re at it) Part 3 before proceeding?  It’ll put you into the context of what happened and how we got to the hospital.

And now for the rest of the story…

After my episode with the needle from Hell, nurse Sandi (not her real name) let me rest up a bit before “The Big Move”.  The nurses now deemed us self sufficient enough to be placed into an observation room, away from the crazy happenings of the triage hallway/cot area.   This was a welcome change, even though it took them 20 minutes of tugging and pushing my stretcher around the tight hallways of the hospital, before settling on a room that could fit both my stretcher and Melissa’s.  They would put me in one ammonia smelling room only to come fetch me three minutes later to park me in a bio-waste smelling room.  Just as Sandi pushed me into that nasty second room, an orderly came by and said that he hadn’t cleaned that room yet hence the smell of the previous occupant lingering in the air. Nice.  Now I had a throat full of bile and a nose full of sh*t.

So off we went for another session of musical chairs, this time landing me in a room with an 80 year old lady.  Sandi apparently thought that this lady, who was two and a half times my age and had a belly button between her boobs, was my wife.  Sigh… Enter nurse Mandi (never saw nurse Sandi again) who whisked me away yet again, away from my geriatric roommate to finally bring me to the last room I would visit in this hospital.  Mandi pushed me into the double sized room and assured me Melissa was on her way and considering how the last 20 minutes went, I hardly believed her.  But then, a noise found itself to my ear.  It was low a first, almost an unpleasant, incomprehensible buzz that quickly grew louder into a jabbering of words being rapidly and enthusiastically exchanged.  Words in the voice of Melissa and her sister chatting away as they approached the room.  Happy to see Melissa for the first time since we left the ambulance a few hours earlier, I greeted her with a blown kiss.  She smiled too, happy to be back together.

Myriam, Melissa’s sister, brought our bags to the door of the room and repeated a routine she must have done a hundred and sixty times that day: throw on a visitor’s gown and put on rubber gloves.  You see, Melissa and I were in “quarantine” due to the unknown nature of our illness.  So Myriam had no choice but to put on and take off, every time she stepped from or into the room, her gown and gloves.  Even back in the triage area, she had to change when she went between our cots. An annoying precaution to be sure, but to this day she hasn’t been sick!  Myriam was a great help to us and we were thankful that she was there as we are not sure what we would’ve done without her.

Read on here!

If you haven’t done it yet, I recommend you read Sam’s Big Gift Part 1 and Part 2 before proceeding.  It’ll put things into context for you and help you avoid brain cramping questions like: “Why is he wearing socks and sandals in a hospital with Jack & Jill ?”.

Moving right along…

The ambulance pulled into the hospital around 11 A.M. and Jill asked me to get out of the ambulance first.  Now this meant I had to cram myself between Melissa’s stretcher and Jill’s prominent bodily presence.  Jill was sitting and I had to bend over because of the low ceiling, which in terrific ice-breaking combination, lined her face up with my sweaty pyjama-pant ass.  Nice.  Talk about getting to know someone in a hurry. I kept thinking “Squeeze the cheeks and don’t fart!”.  If Jill calls us up in a couple days and says that she caught what we had – well folks, THAT was the point of transmission!

So out I went into what I was hoping would be a stretcher of my own.  Too bad for me, cause a wheelchair was all they had waiting.  Great! Another freaking seat! No beds in this damn hospital! They gently lowered Melissa out of the ambulance and wheeled us into the triage area.  I slouched as low as I could go in the wheelchair which put my knees about even with my forehead… Sexy I know, but I needed to get horizontal and the building full of medical experts couldn’t figure that out.  We spent what seemed to be four hours waiting for our turn, but it was probably more like 15 minutes.  Melissa and Jill were still chatting like pledge sisters while Jack and I were quiet.  I wasn’t in the mood to talk and Jack was checking out the nurses PHD’s.  That’s their asses folks, not their diplomas…  PHD means Pretty Heavy Dumper.  It’s finally our turn and we meet a new nurse that we’ll call Bambi.  Why? Just because we had so many nurses attend to us that I couldn’t remember any of their names. So I’ll give them stripper names, cause everybody remembers a stripper’s name. Right? Huh guys? Are ya with me on this?!? Riiiight, so anyways, back to Bambi in the triage.

Keep reading about Bambi and her friends here…