Our Baby Size Life!

Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category

Last weekend, Melissa’s sister came over to make some chicken pot pies.  It’s a bi-annual tradition the sisters do to fill our bellies with piping hot chicken pie goodness.  Needless to say, the pies rock and so do the girls for going through all the trouble and making them! So, a BIG thanks is owed to them for their efforts!

So, while they were cookin’ up a storm in the kitchen, Sam and I were having some intense toy playing and crawl racing nearby.  Then suddenly, just as I’m about to win my first race of the day, Sammy pulls up lame!  I’m thinking he’s taking a poo break, but no, something in the kitchen as caught his eye… Then and there, he abandons me in pursuit of greater conquests. I’ve chronicled the events that followed below.

Enjoy! (click pic for larger version)

Sam is getting to be quite the little character. He’s always been a smooth kid when it comes to women. Anytime we go out, whether it be shopping or visiting family, he will always do everything in his power to get some young Chiquita to look at him. He’ll stare and stare at her until she notices him, then he tilts his head and leans to one side smiling… This just absolutely melts the hearts of all these young ladies and they come over to coo at him. That’s when he tucks his head into the person carrying him while staring at the young lass from the corner of his eye! A total charmer!

Yeah I know, the kid’s gonna break some hearts… just like his Dad!

He’s also a little clown. He sometimes gives us this big, wide mouthed grin while squinting up his eyes… and he does this regardless of what’s in his mouth at the time. So, we’ve gotten full, uncensored views of many types of chewed food, mashed into gums, caked into his two teeth and totally smeared over his bulgy cheeks! A clown I tells ya! I guess he’s just mighty proud of those two killer choppers he’s got there. I call them killers, because he knows how to use them! When Melissa and I are playing with him, we have to keep alert as he likes to clamp down on anything soft… Like a teddy bear, a chew toy or our hands and arms and legs! Who knew babies had such strong jaws!

Then, on New-Years Eve, like Derek Zoolander, he sprung his latest look on us… and it didn’t disappoint! There he was, just sitting, minding his own business, when my bro-in-laws teenage daughter called to Sam. He looks up at her, like she’s bothering him while he’s playing with the Wii remote, and he shoots her this look:

Yep, he was givin’ her the sexy stare down! The whole room erupted with laughter that kind of startled him at first, but then when he realized that it was because of him, he smiled and gave the look again. Now, he lays this look on people often enough, looking for that big laugh again. He usually gets it too I have to say seeing Sam’s character and attitude emerge is truly an amazing experience. I just can’t wait for the next surprise… and I ain’t talking messy diapers folks!

That’s it for now, have a great weekend everybody!

…out of our Christmas decorations!  It’s like he considers their sudden appearance as an infringement on his turf or something.  Take this incident that happened this past weekend! Sam roughed Ted Teddington up pretty bad, even stomped on his holly berries! I can tell you the teddy bear survived, but he’s eating his stuffing through a straw and doctors say he may never be able to have cubs of his own! Here’s hoping he pulls through OK.

Hope you enjoy the comic!  It’s a first here on the blog and I had quite some fun putting it together, so I might throw more up here from time to time… If response is good of course!

That’s it for now, take ‘er easy folks!

It may be a little early for some people, but Melissa and I love the holiday season, and poor Sammy has been dragged into it.  Until he can defend himself, he won’t have a choice but to submit to our month long festive mood.  This weekend, we are putting up the tree and whipping out the almost embarrassing amount of decorations we have.  And, yes, it takes about a whole weekend to get everything up.  We completely fall into the spirit of the season. which is great especially since this will be Sammy-boy’s first Christmas!  Which means he won’t remember squat about it… come to think about it, he won’t remember the first few Christmases.  But we will, so on with the festivities!

A good sign that the holiday mood is in the air, is that a local radio station starts playing wall to wall Christmas music.  Last year, they started three days after Halloween, which is a little nuts and wholly illegal if you ask me.  Drag the station manager into the street and shoot him… as Garfield would say.  This year, they started mid-November, which is borderline legal, no executions!  Melissa turned on the music tonight and we we dancing and singing along with the songs, with Sammy laughing and smiling all the while!  Totally in the moment, I ran downstairs and dug through the decoration boxes until I found my Santa hat.

Lets do the math here people: one Santa hat + one baby = good times! But it also equals one tough picture to take! Here’s our first efforts, but I’m sure we’ll get more opportunities as December rolls out…

Take it easy, and thanks for reading!

Work got you down? Need a little boost cause you’re bored? Well cheer up already! It’s Friday and the ever blessed weekend is upon us! Just a quick post today to help you all through the day and get you to that 4 o’clock freedom bell! Check out some of these interesting stories I’ve found around the interwebs. I’m sure you’ll find something you’ll like or at least to keep you busy for a while. Bored at work? Well you are not alone my friends!

Have fun and have a great weekend!

Untouched humans found! This is quite fascinating, a tribe of humans having never contacted the outside world has been found. Check out the fly-by photos!

Bad Tatoos gallery. What were they thinking?!? I guess that’s the point: they weren’t.

The tallest building in the world is now in… Isn’t this just another form of a “Who’s got the bigger d*ck” fight?

The 6 most badass stunts ever pulled in the name of science. From Cracked.com!

Miracle Fruit rewires taste buds. I want to try these.

HULKs 10 best brawls. To hype the upcoming HULK movie (that I think will flop, but we’ll see!)

Sixth longest place name in the world: Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg! Only Sixth? WTF?!?!

Disney Land for nymphos? Ummm….yeah… weird asian stuff.

Stiller, Black and Downey Jr. as the Pips!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gj_BbsOp7wY&hl=en]

Funny stuff! Great song too!

Kevin Smith’s next flick “Zack and Miri make a porno” starring Seth Rogen has it’s first web teaser out! It’s not for kids due to strong language, but it’s pretty funny! Check it out here!

That’s it folks, enjoy!

Last time I posted on subliminal ads, it turned out to be a very popular post (check in out here!).  So here’s an encore. This time however, I’ve included some Walt Disney classic subliminal scenes, which are, even to this day, controversial. One thing we should be noticing, however, is that all these subliminal images point to the same, repetitive theme: SEX. Why? Because sex sells baby! To prove it, artists like Spears, Madonna, etc have made millions with their constant sexual imaging… Plus the worlds oldest profession is prostitution and the porn industry is one of the biggest money makers in the world… except in Amish country… no T.V.s!

While some advertising is not sex related, take the hidden arrow (colored white in the image) found in the FedEx logo, they a much more rare. Although it’s only a simple arrow, the sharp crispness of its edges and right facing point, are effective ways to convey the message that FedEx gets things done fast, efficiently and the right way. I’ve seen that logo hundreds of times and I never saw the hidden arrow, but now that it’s been exposed to my conscience, I see it all the time! Subliminal advertising done clean and effectively… without boobs!

But people like the filthy stuff, so check out these other little pieces of copulation advertising…

Continue reading…

Being new parents means you’re going to read a few books on babies. Well its been two-fold for Melissa and I, as she’s got her 3 French books and I’ve got a couple English ones. So between us, we’ve read around 5 or 6 books, which all pretty much say the same things . Even so a couple books stand out above the rest and offer the most insight and easy, practical indexing of topics, while the others collect dust under the bed and die a lonely mis-begotten death . The good ones would be (and we’d recommend) ‘What to Expect the First Year’ and ‘Living Better with Your Child: 2007′

However, there are some fun and interesting facts that I am not sure everybody is aware of, so todays post will be just that: baby facts. Now I don’t doubt you may know a few of these if you’re a parent or one in training (or a smarty-pants smart ass!), but hopefully you’ll learn a thing or two and be amazed at discovering the continuing wonders of the human body… that’s right…there’s more to them than BOOBS …but not much! (Sam can’t believe it!!!)

• Babies are born with 300 bones, but by adult we have only 206 in our bodies. The reason? Some bones fuse together later.
• A baby is born every 7 seconds.
• One out of every 2000 newborn infants has a tooth when they are born.
• Children born in the month of May are on the average 200 grams heavier at birth than children born in any other month.
• A newborn baby’s head accounts for about one-quarter of it’s entire weight.
• Babies and toddlers are, pound for pound, stronger than oxen. This is especially true of their legs.
• Babies are born without kneecaps.
• Babies are always born with blue eyes.
• Babies and husbands crave the breast immediately after being awakened.
• The longest recorded interval between the birth of twins was 136 days.
• Newborns usually double their weight by six months.
• By the end of their first year, babies will triple their weight

Kids are fun stuff! They just keep surprising you, everyday is something new! Plus they come in mighty handy when you’re in a jam…

P.S. Did you spot the bogus baby fact? I hope so or else I got some land in Florida to sell ya

Being bombarded with advertising is nothing new to us, we are used to it. We see hundred of ads everyday on TV, in magazines, on the web, posters, etc. Melissa is a graphic artist, and she’s shown me how to look at advertising in a different way than just as a consumer. We, well she , regularly finds mistakes in adds, magazines and even road side billboards. She also notices really creative marketing rather quickly. Me? I look for the naughty, and yes folks, there be plenty of it!

Now some people will say it’s your imagination or it’s your brain looking for patterns or some kind of crap like that. Listen spazz, I ain’t buying it! Marketers know what sells (Sam is the by-product of this) and how to sell it. But they just can’t throw it up there cause it would offend somebody. So they hide it. Don’t believe me? Click below and see for yourself. Be aware, while the skin factor is zero (sorry boys ), the subject matter is for big people only .

Open your eyes and check these out!

I know its over, but this funny clip is too good not to include on this blog!

Its got two classic ingredients that come together in an unforgettable way: Muppets and the song ‘Oh Danny Boy’.

Animal RULES!!! Enjoy!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCbuRA_D3KU&hl=en]

Since its Sunday, I figured I’d be lazy…because, well its Sunday and everyone should have at least one lazy day a week. Just to keep you all up to date, everything is going great with the little guy. Melissa is already a great Mom and she tells me I’m doing good as a Dad. The way I see it, I haven’t burnt the house down yet, so we’re good. Aside from visits from Sam’s grandparents (first and second toons from the left on the bottom row of my blog header) and godfather (my brother Mike, third guy from the left on the bottom row), it was a nice quiet weekend.

So here’s my lazy post of the day, a bunch of classic videos of babies being cute and doing cute things…its a bunch of cute just for you all.

Sure they all laugh together and its funny, but…she’s got QUADRUPLETS!!!
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=26MrRk9uer4]

Bruce Lee Baby
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JG3BH_8ZJg8]

This kid has Denzel Washington’s acting down pat
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5ALIL7T764]

Gettin’ Busy Baby
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrUQ8QZWt0M]

Ambushed Baby
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dm-QZitrS2k]

That’s it for now, have a good week!