Archive for March 25th, 2008
Baby Fashion
When you don’t have kids, baby clothes are a cute gift you buy for a baby, and the only real criteria you consider is the look and color. Generally blue for boys and pink for the girlie’s. Now having been through late night poop explosions and the unexpected gushes of a sniping sausage, there are key facts about baby clothes that everyone should know…them being:
Just zip it! Zippers are bad. Zippers are evil. On baby clothes, they are just major pains in the arse. Why? Because they are smaller than adult clothes zippers and always get caught in the fabric. Considering the fact that taking the pyjama off a crying new born who’s screaming hunger while being pasted in his own home-made mustard sauce at 2 am, with a groggy head and tired hands is really really fun, having that stupid zipper get caught fifty times over five inches of fabric is enough to make anybody lose it 
Big snaps. So zippers are out which leaves us with button snaps. However, not just any buttons snaps will do. Make sure they are the big ones, as for some reason, there are baby get-ups out there with teeny tiny pixie like snaps you have to handle with tweezers. Again, these are no good for when the little bottle bandit is squirming more than Roger Clemens on the witness stand. The bigger the snaps the better. And check the layout of the snaps as well and be sure they are easy to follow. When you get around the crotch area, sometimes the snap layout is tougher than an Indiana Jones temple trap. One false move and you’re pooped short round!
Even leg holes. Seems like an odd point to make, but having the leg holes both at the same height and with the same amount of loose fabric helps a lot. Some pyjamas have the snaps run down the center only to veer off to one side and down one leg, not both. This is bad! Babies are flexible but they aren’t Nadia Comaneci. Having to score perfect 10s just to fit into baby pyjamas is a hassle, and when a baby is fussy, its legs get stiffer than Michael Jackson at an amusement park. So good luck fitting him into those deformed PJs.
Back snaps. Again with the snaps! Yep! This one is a quickie, just make sure all the snaps are on the front! It comes down to easy access. Rolling a baby onto the side and struggling to snap up the buttons one handed while the other is holding the little pink pamper packer is a challenge. Which, of course, is not really welcome 
as the little angels seem to provide enough challenges for Mom and Dad already.
Leave the polyester in the 70s. Another easy one! While some baby’s are not inconvenienced by 100% polyester clothing, our little Sam breaks out in little pimples when he wears it 
. The reason being that polyester doesn’t breathe and traps the heat and humidity inside the on the baby’s skin, which makes the baby hotter and wetter then a Polynesian cat house So think cotton! Its nice and light and its breathes!
So there you have it! Next time you’re shopping for a baby, keep these simple tips in mind and the parents will appreciate it, as they will have a happy baby, which is all we really want now isn’t it???
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